Berlin to Prague

On our last day in Berlin, we wanted to make the most of it, so we hit the Christmas market (again!), then hopped on a bus that would take us past some of the sights of the city. Which was awesome, but because of all the people in there the windows kept fogging up, which was kind of funny. Crazy Frenchies and their hot breath! Anyways, we got to our stop and hopped off, only to find....

Another Christmas market! The gods of shopping were smiling upon us. Got some good grub there, and also laughed harder there than I had in a while. Ok, like a week. Jen and I are fucking hilarious lol! I digress... Anyways, what made us laugh like children, until tears ran down our faces? My favorite kind of schadenfreude: slapstick. This time, in people-who-have-no-damn-idea-how-to-ice-skate-but-are-going-balls-to-the-wall-with-it-anyways format. It was a little rink, maybe 30 feet across, in a big ring with some trees and greenery in the middle. And there were these 2 guys that were absolutely killing us. They looked like newborn gazelles, with wiggly, jiggly legs. Only attached to sharp metal blades. They were all over that damn rink, hanging on to the sides, falling over each other-god, they were fantastic. They had these big smiles on their faces, too, they were having an absolute blast. And they knew we were laughing at/with them, and they did not mind at all. There were other groups, and a little kid that was pure comedy, too, but those guys were the best. We both had our favorites and watched them for at least half an hour. I had no feeling in my face and I was sure that my nose would fall off from the cold, but it was worth it.

After all that we headed back to the hostel to regroup and decide what would be next. I'm shaking my head as I write this, but my poor Canadian friend had never been to a sex shop. And, lucky us, there was one no more than 20 meters from the door of our hostel! It's pathetically small by Vegas standards, but it did have quite the extensive collection of violent, sadistic porn. Seriously, it took up a good sized chunk of space. Grossed us both out, and we didn't even look too closely. Blood is easy enough to spot from a few feet away. Then we ran out of there.

At this point, things got a little weird. It was around 430ish, and a guy I had met on Thursday night wanted to meet up before I left, and Jen's phone started going off too, as a guy she went on a date with on Thursday wanted to see her again, too. We had 2.5 hours before we had to meet our ride to Prague. We made it happen. We retouched makeup, grabbed our bags (never taken a backpack on a date before, but whatever) and we raced out to the U-Bahn station. Jen and I headed in opposite directions with only the faintest idea of where we were supposed to meet up with our ride.

My date wasn't too bad, just the poor guy didn't speak fluent English, which he felt bad about. He would be talking just fine, then forget a word and get stumped and fall into some crazy sounding "denglish" (his word for the deutsch/english mix) which I could barely decipher. But he was nice, and also the youngest guy I have ever dated, a whopping 7 years my junior. Then I had to fly out to Alexanderplatz, and I caught the train with no more than 30 seconds to spare. Whew!

Got totally lost there, because there was yes, another Christmas market. And the scents of random frying sausage caught me and I had to follow my nose. They also led me to mini crullers, which I packed for the approximately 5 hour ride. After wandering around, completely lost, in the rain, I finally found Jen and our rideshare lady, who was super nice, and off we went to Prague!

We realized while we were en route just how badly we had planned this little adventure. We spoke absolutely no Czech, had not even the slightest clue about public transportation, had no idea what part of town we were in, and, even better, didn't realize that they don't use euros, so we had no Czech money, krona. Thankfully, our drivers were able to find our hotel (because in the rain, after midnight, with all the above going on, there was no fucking way we were finding it ourselves) and we were able to check in and get our tired, country hopping asses to bed.

Sadly, I took no pics of this portion of the trip, and I am writing most of this from my desk in Vegas. Luckily, I kept notes so that I could catch up later. It's only been almost a month lol!

More to come about Prague...